[updated September 2022]
Thinking of Jin Luanzi: Two Poems
念 金 銮 子： 二 首
衰 病 四 十 身
娇 痴 三 岁 女。
非 男 犹 胜 无
慰 情 时 一 扶。
一 朝 舍 我 去
魂 影 无 外 所。
况 念 天 化 时
呕 哑 初 学 语。
始 知 骨 肉 爱
乃 是 忧 悲 聚。
唯 思 未 有 前
以 理 遗 伤 苦。
忘 怀 日 已 久
三 度 移 寒 暑。
今 日 一 伤 心
因 逢 旧 乳 母。
Nian Jin Luan Zi: Er Shou
Shuai bing si shi shen
Jiao chi san sui nu.
Fei nan you sheng wu
Wei qing shi yi fu.
Yi zhao she wo qu
Hun ying wu wai suo.
Kuang nian tian hua shi
Ou ya chu xue yu.
Shi zhi gu rou ai
Nai shi you bei ju.
Wei si wei you qian
Yi li yi shang ku.
Wang huai ri yi jiu
San du yi han shu.
Jin ri yi shang xin
Yin feng jiu ru mu.
Thinking of Jin Luanzi: Two Poems
Forty years of life with illness and decline
Infatuated with a delicate three year old girl.
Not a boy child, but still a success
Had the time to nurture her with feelings of comfort.
Then one day at dawn she left and abandoned me
Her soul’s shadow without a place outside.
Time to think of this situation of a youthful death
She was just learning to make her first words.
I began to realize and cherish her bones and flesh
As well as her assembled worries and sorrows.
Only think of what will never be again
Need to forget my wounds and suffering.
Already for a long time my heart tries to forget
After three years of winters and summers past.
Today remembering this one heart-mind wound
Because I met my daughter’s old nursemaid today.
Notes:
Jin Luanzi: Literally means “The Hall of Golden Chimes”, the name for the Emperor’s early morning audience room. Also the name of Bai’s young daughter who has died.